In Search of Adele H

The shoals of fairy tales. Caveat lector. Follow @adelehugo on Twitter for the story as it unfolds.

Dec 8

The magic of science.


Dec 2

I had a beautifully brilliant, awful idea.


Nov 16

Memento Mori

I know you’re wondering. I did know. I suppose it would have been better for me to completely disengage, to obey the one-way street signs and rush toward the future. But the future wasn’t there yet; we did not have here, your shuddering singularity, the endless now.

Most of the time I preferred the virtual to the real, by which I mean of course language to images. Images have such power, yet are dangerously flat. You pass by a mirror and are caught by your reflection, the sum of your decisions cascading in reverse.  I did look, occasionally. I had to. But as much as possible I looked at letters instead, their referents and gestures softer, more forgiving. I would lose myself circling through possible worlds, refining and restoring all future, perfect selves, matching each to each.

But it didn’t match. Each morning would bring with it the harsh outlines and endless shadows of northern light, all my possible worlds collapsed by the event horizon of the real, with me racked along its edge, stretched inexorably past time itself.


Nov 10

More art direction from Dad: Hautville House, our home on Guernsey. What I was escaping from! It’s beautiful, but there is not one single inch of it that he left alone.

-source: photos from David Israel for the Boston Globe


Nov 6

Fasten your seatbelts …


Nov 5
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

I had plenty of money, and he wanted women, so …


Oct 29
“As the purse is emptied, the heart is filled.” - Victor Hugo

Oct 26

Reenactment: A Day in the Life


Oct 15
Of course I changed my name. I could feel their eyes, always! Worrying, warning, pushing, insisting. Right along the back of my neck, above the buttons. I had to take steps. They cannot see what I have written, I have concealed it in code. And now I assume the same protection for myself; I have gone underground in plain sight.
It is so much better, immediately. Avoiding their eyes has extended my own. Like that strange fish known as the anableps, my top eyes are calm, placid, as am I, seemingly; my disguise is complete. But my bottom eyes - those belong to a different animal: dark, urgent. Full of risk and error. Hidden in the undercurrents, I see, but am not seen.

Of course I changed my name. I could feel their eyes, always! Worrying, warning, pushing, insisting. Right along the back of my neck, above the buttons. I had to take steps. They cannot see what I have written, I have concealed it in code. And now I assume the same protection for myself; I have gone underground in plain sight.

It is so much better, immediately. Avoiding their eyes has extended my own. Like that strange fish known as the anableps, my top eyes are calm, placid, as am I, seemingly; my disguise is complete. But my bottom eyes - those belong to a different animal: dark, urgent. Full of risk and error. Hidden in the undercurrents, I see, but am not seen.


Oct 13
“What if the Americans invaded?” An entire display room in the Citadel fort in the center of Halifax, Nova Scotia (now a Canadian national park) is devoted to this question, including dioramas, mannequins, schematics, pencil drawings, and a play-by-play of what-ifs: “well, they would never get past our defenses on the harbor! But if they did, they would never get up our giant hill where we can see them coming! But if they did, they would never get past our moat! But if they did, they would never get past our sharpshooters stationed at acute angles along the inner wall! But if they did … ” etc.

“What if the Americans invaded?” An entire display room in the Citadel fort in the center of Halifax, Nova Scotia (now a Canadian national park) is devoted to this question, including dioramas, mannequins, schematics, pencil drawings, and a play-by-play of what-ifs: “well, they would never get past our defenses on the harbor! But if they did, they would never get up our giant hill where we can see them coming! But if they did, they would never get past our moat! But if they did, they would never get past our sharpshooters stationed at acute angles along the inner wall! But if they did … ” etc.


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